knowledge SPEAKS :: wisdom LISTENS

I have been thinking lately...

Does anyone listen...to anybody!?
It doesn't seem like it. People have their agendas and if what you're saying does not match the agenda, good luck finding an ear.

Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand.
I am guilty of this. And I am a therapist!!!

This is a humble reality.

I want to be the kind of person whose main goal is to UNDERSTAND what a person is trying to say. Not to solve their problem. Not to assume. Not to think about my response before they finish their words. I want to be a person who truly listens and allows people to feel heard.

Goal: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD.

Thankful :: Snowboarding Dates

I am thankful for snowboarding dates with Bryan. These dates enable us to engage in an activity outside of the typical meal and a movie, although that's ALL we want to do after a long day on the mountain...especially the meal part (Chimayo). He has been so patient with my slow learning curve and it is finally paying off because I am progressively getting better and better this season! All that to say, I like snowboarding. And I like Bryan.

my portion

Elizabeth Elliot, author of Passion and Purity (and many other works), makes this thought provoking statement about Psalm 16:5.

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"I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned "portion" ("This belongs to it, that does not")? Are some things, then, out of control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are canceled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives."

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After reading this, I am challenged to look at every thing, E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G, in my life as my portion - my given portion. Whenever I am struggling, I must remind myself - Andrea, this is your portion. Whenever I am smiling, I must remind myself - Andrea, this is your portion. Whenever ANYTHING, good or bad, happens. . . I must remind myself that this is my portion. . . my given portion.

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"Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure." Psalm 16:5

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On the road to contentment. God, you are in charge. I accept what you have given, are giving, and will continue to give. Thank you for making my lot secure.

the day I turned my cell phone off

Do you ever have a day off of work that actually turns into anything but a day off?

...errands, calling people back, catching up on email, plans to do (fill in the blank). . . .

These are all fine and dandy things, but they can consume your day and keep you from really resting. I have those days all the time, which is WHY I decided to take a REAL day off: I was not scheduled to work at Starbucks today, I had no appointments with my clients - Just a day to do whatever I wanted. And to make sure that happened, I turned my cell phone OFF!


BEST DAY EVER. A day where I was free - free from obligation and free to do anything I wanted. I simply slept in, read outside in the rocking chair, cooked yummy foods, painted, went for a run by the Platte River. . . it was delightful. . . and VERY needed.

Sure I might have been a flake for a day, but I'm okay with it :)

Isaiah 44: 6-23

You know what is beautiful? This...

Isaiah 44: 6-23

The Lord calls out his people for idolatry and afterwards this is what he says...

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me for I have redeemed you."

DANG. The mercy of God is indescribable. First that he would love us enough to say - You are worshiping WOOD - You are worshiping a complete LIE! - and then love us even more by redeeming us, forgiving us, making us new.

Good stuff.

inspiration

Inspiration:: something I don't have.

Inspiration:: something I want.

Inspiration. I crave you. I want to desire something. I want passion. I want to be pulled in a particular direction. I want to be filled with purpose. I want to pursue something I simply CANNOT get enough of. I feel stagnant. I want to be moved.

I will graduate with my Masters in 10 weeks. New beginning. Anything is possible. I could go anywhere, do anything. But what is it I want to do? Professionally and personally - What do I want for my life? Better yet, what does the Lord want for my life?

I completely trust that God knows what's up. He has not failed me yet. I am just curious and wondering what he has for me.

Waiting with excited expectation :)

Sunday Secrets

Have you ever heard of PostSecret? Well, if you haven't you can thank me for a) introducing you to one of the coolest ideas ever created AND b) introducing you to one of my weekly rituals: Sunday Secrets. Each Sunday, the website is updated with new postsecrets people have recently sent in the mail & each Sunday I look at them. Here is an example...

The reading of the secrets is oddly refreshing, vulnerable, and extremely liberating. Every once in awhile I will read a confession and say, "Thank God I'm not the only one!" It's strange how honest people can be if their name is not attached to their art inspired postcard. What if we were all that honest and owned our secrets...whether they are innocent or not? What if we started to shed light on the things we so protectively hide? The exposure would move us from fear to FREEDOM. It's like skinny dipping, or if you're real crazy, streaking. At first, the act is ultra embarrassing, but once you get over yourself, you can experience the beauty of the nude! Freedom I tell you! Freedom to be YOU. Okay, that does not really relate...but whatever.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom...and it's not with your dirty little secrets. Expose. Take off the mask. Stop hiding. Shed light. BE YOU. Tell a secret today & experience the freedom that hiding does not provide. It'll be awesome :)

Classes begin tomorrow, which kicks off the count down of....

...GRADUATING in 6 months!

LOVE who you LOVE

It is currently Christmas break and I am in Okie with the family. Coming home is so heart filling, but this year something has been off and I couldn't quite put a finger on it....that is until yesterday during a coffee date conversation with a friend.

This realization came to me in 3 different forms.

1) I was browsing Real Simple magazine in the dentist's office and came across "What Will You Do Differently in 2010?" It caught my attention so I started to read. Majority of the resolutions were admirable, but there was one in particular that caught my eye and gave me a sense of conviction.....


"I’m going to put my husband first. We each work two jobs and have family, volunteer, and social commitments, so we’re exhausted at the end of the day. He deserves the best of me―not what’s left over after I’m done with everything else."
-Alyssa Rae C. Tillier

2) While reading C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters, came across a passage that again, caught my eye and left me with a sense of conviction...

"The great thing is to direct the malice to his immediate neighbours whom he meets every day and to thrust his benevolence out to the remote circumference, to people he does not know" (p. 18).

3) Listening to a CD in my sister's car...a Rascal Flatts song came on...it didn't catch my eye, but it did catch my ear and again, gave me a sense of conviction...

"Love who you love..." -Rascal Flatts

This is what I realized: I put my best self out there for the world to see, and leave what's left, the scraps, to the people I love the most. Generally, the scraps aren't very good. Example: After I'm done at internship listening to everyone's problems with an eager, empathetic heart, I come home and have an attitude of "I don't want to care about anyone right now". My mom calls to ask how my day was and I am short, pissy, and not a very loving person to her in return. Why do I give my best to strangers/casual acquaintances and give my worst to the people in my life I truly love, like my mother for example? Why do I do this? Maybe I realize that my family and closest friends will always be there? Whatever it is, I don't like it. In light of the new year, my new years resolution is not to "start a blog and keep up with it" but to "love who you love" and give my best to the bests in my life. God. Family. Friends. These are my core. They deserve the best of me, not what's left....

Shedding light on my weakness.

entertaining angels

Call me crazy, but I have had this weird fascination with the Lord's angels lately.

I want to see one, be near one, interact with one. They are such a mystery to me...another being besides human...a being intimately connected with the Lord...a being with WINGS! Throughout scripture they are depicted as messengers, worshipers, and guardians...strong and powerful through and through. I am absolutely fascinated.
If we acknowledge God's name, He commands his angels to guard us: Psalm 91:9-12

People we randomly run into could be angels: Hebrews 13:1-2

Throughout scripture, angels always seem to be on a mission; they always have a purpose. Their presence of purpose could not have just stopped. What are they up to today? Where are they? What are they doing?

I am intrigued by these angels. Absolutely intrigued.

namaste.

YOGA IS...

my new favorite thing.

hey visitor

Since summer classes ended and my second summer break began, I have had a few friends come into town for a little weekend visit. It has been fun getting to tour Denver with them, seeing that I am new to the city too.

Jessica/the sister came over Labor Day weekend. I equate "time with my sister" to "napping" - both are extremely relaxing and refreshing. I cried when I picked her up from the airport, cried when I dropped her off, and laughed A TON in between. I love my sister.

SHLEY! Ashley came into town and pretty sure I laughed the entire time. This girl makes my heart happy. Good to have someone in town that really knows me.

Meet Chris. He is one of my best friends from high school. We have KNOWN each other since 2nd grade, but his only memory of me was how I made milk come out of my nose one day during lunch. I WAS a BIZARRE kid.

Activities: We went to Red Rocks, some factory (te-he), moseyed around Boulder, hopped on a PediCab and participated in Tour de Fat (bike parade - people dress crazy - 2nd favorite memory made in Denver so far), ate at Bump-and-Grind (waiters dress like drag queens & act rude), napped, watched tennish ha, hung out with my friends in Denver, aaaannnndddd....a lot of other random things. When you are with Chris, you never know what is going to happen next...

Time with Caliece is always filled with good conversation, full of vulnerability and vision. We used to meet once a week to talk about life; I miss those mornings with her. Good times.

THANKS FOR COMING TO VISIT !!!

a hard yet beautiful emotion

MISSING WACO: I love this new chapter, don't get me wrong. However, there is a huge part of me that is still in Waco, Texas. There are so many people I love & so many memories made in that city. I am still connected to the past, longing for it to be my present. Why can't I be like Hannah Montana and have the best of both worlds? ;)
MISSING PEOPLE: It is a hard emotion, but it's also a beautiful emotion, for it proves you have connected with someone to the point of wanting more. To me, this lack of contentment is okay, for the longing of another is one of the most beautiful longings you can have. We are wired to be relational. It is not good for man to be alone. We are lovers of people to the core.

Currently trying to finding contentment in my lack of contentment. Confusing concept...yup.

In essense, thankful I have people I miss...

so glad my friends are here.

FINALLY.............

It is an entire different Denver as of Thursday evening. Everyone from kamp is back in the city

and it has been a nonstop party. Now I remember why I moved here...LOVIN it.

clean V unclean

I am nervous to post about this because I do not know if I am taking the Scripture out of context. So before you read, know that I am not a scholar of the bible. I am simply a reader and a responder. So here is what I read and here is my response.

In light of the topics I have been learning in school (race, homosexuality and transgender issues, religion, etc) there are a number of people in this world we tend to keep at a arms distance. They are wrong. We are right. They are dirty. We are clean. Whether it is conscious or not, we all have a bias against different traditions, cultures, values, and beliefs. What does God say?

Well in Acts, there is a Jew by the name of Peter who approaches a group of Gentiles and says, "You are well aware that it is against our law for a Jew to associate with Gentiles or visit them. But God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean. So when I was sent for, I came without raising any objection." Acts 10:27-29

It is not our duty to label someone impure or unclean. Yes they may live a different lifestyle than us, but that does not mean we can decide who is IN and who is OUT. That is not our role.

Later on in Acts 10, "Peter began to speak: 'I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts those from every nation who fear him and do what is right.'" Acts 10:34

So, God does now show favortism. It does not matter where you are from or the color of your skin, as long as you fear God and do what is right.

AV thought: What does "do what is right" mean? I do something wrong everyday. Does that mean I am out? Hmm. We are so quick to judge others that we forget to judge ourselves...

so many thoughts....

learning tons, carrying tons

I have been learning a lot about culture & diversity lately; not just in my academic life, but in my spiritual and personal life as well. I have experienced more emotion in the past month than I have in several years. Emotions of anger, sadness, guilt, and desires to make a change and take action. My eyes have been opened to issues of power, privilege, racism, oppression, discrimination, and other situations that are hard to swallow. I used to think I had really thick skin, but apparently there are still some things that can shock me and move me to tears.

I am thankful for these realizations though. I am becoming more in tune with reality, which is SO good. However, when one is in tune with reality, one starts to carry its burden; which is what I have been doing. I have been feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders for the past month, which is not exactly healthy. However if I let it go, I'm afraid I will let go of everything I have learned. I do not want to forget this stuff. I do not want to go back to the thoughts and ideas I used to have. Yes, being in this position of knowing what's real and true is hard, but I would rather know the truth than be in a bubble of bliss that is not in all in tune with reality.

I must say, carrying this burden is exhausting. Yes, I want to change the world but I cannot do it single handedly. We all have a sphere of influence and I commit to doing what I can to impact that sphere. Knowing that takes a lot of the weight off of my shoulders. However, there is still weight to be carried.


Jesus said,
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

I need to realize I cannot save the world on my own. I need God. I need His strength and His power. I need his encouragement and his hope. I need to know He is in control. I need His bird's eye perspective. I need to understand that this world is messed up which is why we need a Savior in the first place. I need God. I need God. I NEED GOD!!! I will not get through this career, or better yet, this life, without Him. He is my sanity.


"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you with my loving eye on you" Psalm 32:8


Jesus, thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for trusting me enough to place the cry of those in need on my heart. Help me to let go of these burdens and give them to you. Thanks for being with me of this journey. Let's do this...

Denver = my new home

WHY HELLO

Welcome to my crib in Denver, Colorado! I cannot believe I actually live here! So I have been here for about three weeks or so now. My mom road tripped with me from OK to help me move in; so thankful for that. Since I dropped her off at the airport and said goodbye, school has started, papers have been due, and I am an official grad student. Even though the course load is demanding, I love it. Social Work is what I want to do, so I REALLY want to learn this stuff. I am currently at Kaladi Coffee, a coffee shop near campus. The baristas are complimenting an older adult's new hair cut and making her feel like a rockstar. She is eating it up. Anywho, I am loving Denver. I must say, having a roommate here is SUCH a blessing; I would be crazy lonely without her. People make life more fun, I am convinced. In addition to Rachel, my roommate, I have a few friends from high school, Baylor, and Kamp. So, I am quite thankful for these connections and relationships here in Denver. They are making this transition 100 times easier :)

Lesson from a Wedding

I learned something this weekend: Marriage is a BIG DEAL. It is not just "hey you're cute let's get married". It is a promise. It is forever.

This weekend my best friend Taylor got married. For the past four years I have seen her and Browning's relationship bloom and it has been a beautiful thing to witness. These two did it right. I have always said I wanted to somehow mirror their relationship for they were about other people and not just themselves. During the rehearsal dinner, people were praising God for such great friends and admiring their character and impact towards others. It was a night of praise and celebration. During all the toasts, I had some thoughts...

In the past I have thrown the idea of marriage around as if it were a toy. (typical Baylor) It was FUN to think about marrying someone. It was FUN to talk about it. In theory, I took this relationship seriously; but in reality I did not realize how one's life changes once they say "I do." I am thankful for this realization. I am now aware of the seriousness of this commitment. It is a BIG DEAL....and with the right person, an GOOD DEAL ;)

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others. Philippians 2: 1-4

dr. seuss still applys

It is finals week.

Senior year.

I graduate in 9 days.

Is this really reality?

I cannot believe it.

I am in denial.

In my denial I shall go back to the Dr. Seuss days and post a rhyme...

"How did it get so late so soon?
Its night before its afternoon.
December is here before its June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon? "

To answer you question, Dr. Seuss...I have no idea? "boo hoo" - my heart is sad.

I Know Where I'm Going

During my Senior year in high school after I decided I was going to Baylor, the University sent me a t-shirt that said "I Know Where I'm Going" - They send that t-shirt to the entire incoming freshman class...I have no idea where I placed that shirt

All that to say, four year later, "I Know Where I'm Going" again....



I am going to the University of Denver to get my Masters in Social Work!


I am glad I finally made a decision. I am excited, but still a little torn. Knowing I had a chance to stay in Waco, yet consciously made a decision to leave, makes me feel a little guilty. I would never want to leave the people here. However, I am confident in my decision and am excited to be stretched professionally...and be in Colorado :)



I know where I am going and it feels SOoO good.....